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Pregnant, really?

August 27, 2009

I’ve always wanted to be a mum, always wanted to be pregnant. I imagined myself beatific in a long, flowing, flowery dress with hoards of children trailing in my skirts while I wafted over to the Aga to check on my home made cakes, shooing the Labrador away.

Obviously life doesn’t quite work out that way & I’m actually found either in the back yard sneaking a quick cig while Sam watches TV or dragging the dog’s food bowl away from an irate baby intent on a snack. Ah well, we can all dream.

Sam was born 2nd July 2008, just 4 days before our 9 month wedding anniversary. I love that. He was a honeymoon baby, and yes he was planned. So many people have had the cheek to ask that, as if he was an unfortunate accident after too many cocktails on honeymoon. Ok, so he was conceived after too many cocktails on honeymoon but he was entirely planned – I came off the pill just a week before the wedding. Craig still wants he own TV show, Supersperm.

I only knew I was pregnant after I got hideously drunk off just a few vodkas at my sister in laws, threw everything up & passed out next to the toilet. The next morning I was fine again. Alarm bells rang, only quietly because (guffaw, guffaw) you can’t get pregnant on the first month of trying! Actually, said the First Response, you can. Cue panic & hysteria. The line wasn’t as clear as could be &, having never seen a positive test I wanted to do another. Which we didn’t have. So after an agonising day at work, veering between manic smiles & hysterical tears I pootled off to the Trafford Centre where I was meeting friends for a meal. I paid an extortionate amount of money for 2 digital tests, literally ran to the loo & almost immediately saw ‘Pregnant’. I cried. In the loos, holding a pregnancy test with people around me going ‘Ah, luv, it’s ok. Nevermind’ while I tried to tell them it was good news & they just shook their heads sadly.

I told an ecstatic Craig over the phone which I still regret but I couldn’t have eaten a meal with my friends without telling them & I couldn’t tell them before Craig. They were lovely & so happy for me. They’re 2 of my oldest & best friends. We all went to primary school together & my mum & L’s mum were friends in college. I had to tell them. The news did detract from my wedding proofs which we were meeting to look at but the wedding didn’t matter anymore, I was having a baby!

So that started off my wonderful pregnancy.

We told my sister at 4 weeks as I had realised I was to be her chief bridesmaid 5 months later. She was too happy to be annoyed, thank goodness. We then had to tell my parents at 5 weeks as they were going to Goa for 3 weeks on holiday & I just wanted to. They were underwhelmed initially, my dad actually patted my arm in congratulations as he carried on opening the post. My mum just said ‘well, whatever you & Craig decide is fine by me’. I thought she meant if we decided whether to keep it or not! Very embarrassing now for me, my mum still brings it up thinking it hilarious. They were just being cautious as it was so early. I told my Grandma 2 weeks later after a bad bout of bleeding & being signed off work for a fortnight. That was scary (both the bleeding & telling my Grandma). She was happy though, in her own way. It’s funny now seeing them together. He’s like a little clone of her, all blue eyes & strawberry blond hair. He adores her & she, well, just worships him.

Apart from a couple of weeks of bleeding I had a fabulous pregnancy, I loved, loved, loved it. For the first time ever I could relax in my own skin. My usually massive hips didn’t look so big when the focus was taken off them by my huge bump. I felt well, looked well & was on the way to finishing work at 39 weeks, having a natural water birth at the local hospital & coming home just 6 hours after he was born. Ha, ha, ha! The first time mother’s birth plan. Naivety and hope in equal measures.

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