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Ups & downs

September 1, 2009

I’ve been hit by the Law of Sod this weekend, in a big way. The God of Sod decided my life was going was going too well. Although we’re as poor as particularly struggling church mice with 48 children, their own business & a gas guzzling 4X4, I’m actually reasonably happy. We’re off to Australia in under 2 weeks to see my sister, I’ve slimmed down so much I need a whole new wardrobe, Sam is being adorable at  the moment & has actually voluntarily cuddled me this week! (only briefly & when I put my arms around him he pushed me away & ran off – apparently even at 14 months he’s too cool for mummy cuddles).  It was only right really that the God of Sod decided to piss all over my relatively happy life.

Happy life – having lost so much weight I need new clothes & my Dad gives me £100 to get a few bits to tide me over.

God of sod decides NO! – There were no clothes to be bought in the whole of Manchester City Centre.

I rebel –  the next day we went to Asda & Matalan & bought loads! (note to self: posh shops have nothing but overpriced leggings & sequin dresses, only suitable for Joan Collins a-likes. Supermarkets/cheaper shops have normal clothes for normal people & they’re CHEAP! Gorgeous winter coat for £18! I love Asda) God of Sod accepts my victory.

 Happy life – decide to have a few cheeky vodkas & wine, what the hell – it’s Saturday night!

God of Sod decrees Sam will be up twice in the night & for good before 7am. I’m bleary eyed, hungover & regretting having a sit up competition with Craig at 1.30am whilst very drunk. Sam insists on Cbeebies – Tikkabilla baaaaaaad.  

Happy life – we’re off to Southport to play on the beach, make sandcastles, play 2p machines & try to find a merry go round for Sam.

 God of Sod decides NO, they can go to Southport but cannot take pictures of the boy being all cute and so breaks the camera. The nice one with a video camera & lots of photos from Sam’s first steps which I now can’t access (memory card died too.). And it bloody pissed it down.

Happy life – we’re out for the day, sod it I’ll treat myself to a yummy steak & salad for lunch.

God of sod lulls me into a false sense of security – steak & salad amazing. But then….he says NOOO!! I am so busy sorting Sam out when it’s time to leave (changing nappy, cleaning hands, picking fish fingers off the floor, stopping him run out onto the high street, incidentally while my parents & husband finish their 2nd drinks, I didn’t finish my first) I left my purse in the pub.

Losing my purse is nothing new to me. I do it at least twice a year and therefore rarely keep things of importance in there. However, when Sam was born I vowed to myself that I would become a grown up. I bought a proper grown up big purse, put all my cards, driving license, picture of Craig in there & thought, yes, I am indeed a woman. I will store my receipts & have my Advantage/club/nectar card to hand at all time.

So I’ve lost it all. Including my driving license, which I need for Australia, some memorabilia of when I lived in China and most heartbreaking of all, irreplaceable photos of my Grandma & I having funny passport photos done when I was about 4. I’m hoping that someone finds it and realise that those photos at least are so vitally important & of such great sentimental value they’ll post them back to my address, which they’ll find on my driving license.

I have a feeling though the God of Sod will instead force them to steal my identity, use my Next account (details in purse), start at Salford University with my ID card & spend all my 346 Advantage points on some chavvy nail varnish in the shade  ‘Thieving ho’ (a vibrant orangey red of guilt).

Dammit.

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