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Doers, thinkers & talkers

September 3, 2009

I’ve been worried recently about Sam’s speech or lack of it actually. I envy other people’s babies who are chatting away & have been for weeks. Sam will occasionally scream ‘hiya’ but often only when prompted & rarely in context. Yesterday, for the first time in ages he said it properly, clearly & in context to a little boy who was at the soft play centre. The boy ignored him. I was furious. Poor Sam! All that effort he’d put into saying the right thing at the right time & it was thrown back in his face. Sam didn’t seem too impressed either; he pushed him over & took his Fruit Shoot.

While I was intervening & teaching Sam that bullying isn’t big or clever, I thought that he does have his own niche in the world, his own skills. Sam is a doer.

Babies are often categorised depending on their personality. The Baby Whisperer calls them Touchy, Grumpy, Spirited, Angel and Textbook but they were far too complicated for me.

In my simplistic little world I have decided (based on my limited knowledge & experience of small children) that there are thinkers, doers & sayers (not all called Leo). Maybe they should be called talkers, it sounds better.

I won’t use anyone’s names in case I offend them but people close to me will see their babies in the explanations, I’m sure. I hope you don’t mind me using them as examples, but it really reinforces my theory!

As I have said Sam is a doer. He hates to be sat looking at books, jigsaws, activities etc. He will be patient for a while but the books have to have noises for him to listen to or textures for him to touch. Jigsaws have to be the right size for him to chew. He likes to run around, bash into things, open drawers & drag stuff out of them. He doesn’t stop & think – he just does it. He’s very independent, never clingy & will only have cuddles when he wants them. Heaven forbid you try to cuddle him, that’s just taking up valuable time that could be spent running or breaking things. Sam’s nickname at the moment is Destructor Boy.  I see doers growing up into footballers (wishing thinking on my part perhaps), builders, plumbers, engineers. I can just see Sam being an engineer, taking things apart & fixing them. He’ll be a man’s man I think, very into beer & the ladies like his Dad. Doers’ will be the loud ones at school getting dared into silly pranks and hauled up in front of the headmaster.

A thinker is more cerebral. Even at their tender ages you can see the little cogs whirring in their minds as they try to figure out their jigsaws & games. They sit, figure it out for a while, try a couple of different techniques & the look on their faces as they figure it out is priceless! They’re often quiet, contemplative, affectionate & loving. I think these babies will grow up to be philosophers, inventors, professions that involve patience, high intelligence & a tendency to like their own company. They’ll never be lonely as they’ll be empathic to others, eloquent and revered for their smart, witty comments.

The talker does just that, they talk. My friend’s little girl chats away constantly. She says ‘pretty, pretty’ to herself in the mirror (and she really is). Her latest word is dog – brilliantly shouted at the TV whenever adverts for Katie Price’s new show come on. Another friend of mine has a son who at 16 months sings the Bob the Builder theme tune in bed every morning. These babies are cuddlers like the thinkers. They thrive on attention unlike the doers who prefer to just get on with it. They have to have jobs where the gift of the gab is a must – teachers, lecturers & recruitment consultants. They’ll also be great friends. They’ll entertain people, be the life & soul of the party and always be there when you need someone to turn to.

Of course, as the babies grow up I’m sure this will have little relevance. Maybe Sam will turn into a thinker or a talker as his skills increase. I’m pretty sure though he’ll never lose the ‘devil may care’ attitude that has so far made him break my camera, throw my mobile phone in the dog’s water bowl, try to push the TV over, break an irreplaceable Swedish ornament at my parents, push children over and pull down their trousers. As long as he doesn’t hurt any one/thing/himself I like the fact that my boy just gets on with it in his own ‘let’s go for it!’ way. I may take a leaf from his book sometimes & just get on with it rather than analysing every which way & talking it through til the cows come home.

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. Naomi permalink
    September 3, 2009 2:45 pm

    Great post – really interesting and clever. I see my (late talking) daughter in the ‘thinker’ description. She will sit and watch things, many call her ‘quiet’ or ‘lazy’ but often when she comes to do the thing herself she gets it right, first time. She loves rules and knowing what they are, makes her feel safe I guess, she is confused that other children don’t seem to follow them. She is now 9 but when she was 2 all these traits were obvious.

    Glad you are happy with your little ‘doer’ he sounds adorable. And yes, as they grow they enlarge on the bits that right now, they don’t seem to use. He will think and chatter a lot as time goes on!

    BTW my daughter wants to be a farmer, always has, wants to own a ‘holiday farm’ where people come to stay and help for a holiday. She is already looking at agricultural colleges 😉 Thinking ahead…

  2. the dotterel permalink
    September 3, 2009 3:21 pm

    Well, I think I’ve got a three-in-one then! Charlie is a thinker, doer and a talker. The only problem is when he tries to do all three together. Learning your limitations is one of life’s most important lessons, don’t you think?

  3. notsuchayummymummy permalink*
    September 3, 2009 5:14 pm

    Thank you so much for your comments! I feel quite overwhelmed & a little apprehensive that people are now reading this and atually taking the time to comment! I’m glad that you were able to see some of your child in these categories!

    I think most babies will be a combination of all of these but in my admittedly limited experience my friends’ children and Sam have fallen quite perfectly into these catagories.

    Sam gets frustrated when he tries to do more than one thing at a time so doesn’t! Maybe in a few months…

  4. September 3, 2009 5:36 pm

    Hi there, I saw @Porridgebrain’s tweet earlier about your blog and thought I’d stop by to have a look.
    Excellent post. It’s fascinating to watch your children develop their own little – or big – personalities.
    Looking forward to reading more…
    Sandy

    • notsuchayummymummy permalink*
      September 3, 2009 8:30 pm

      Thank you Sandy! I can’t believe an established blogger has read this! And liked it! Very much appreciate your comment.

      • September 6, 2009 5:06 pm

        Thanks for calling me an established blogger, but I only started my blog in May this year!
        We all have to start somewhere 🙂

  5. the dotterel permalink
    September 3, 2009 9:05 pm

    Not only commented, but linked-back to as well. You’re an established blogger now!

    • notsuchayummymummy permalink*
      September 3, 2009 9:10 pm

      I’m trying! Not quite worked out what I’m doing yet, I’ve always been a bit of technophobe but it’s being beaten out of me!

  6. September 3, 2009 9:22 pm

    Hello my lovely

    This is a great post! See – I told you you’d do brilliantly! (and that everyone is lovely!)

    Kai is (surprise surprise) a thinker predominantly but definitely alternates with being a doer in crazy bursts of manic energy.

    But NOT a talker in any way shape or form – but then neither is his dad!

    That’s the fun though isn’t it, watching them evolve these wonderful little unique personalities. We are so lucky to get front row seats to such an amazing adventure.

    Keep going honey – you’re doing great! Can’t wait to read your next post 🙂

    xxxxxx

    • notsuchayummymummy permalink*
      September 3, 2009 9:45 pm

      Could you tell I used Kai as my thinker example! He is so going to be an academic when he grows up.
      Thanks for all your help with this. You’re lovely. x

  7. September 4, 2009 3:09 pm

    I enjoyed reading your post. My own children are way past this stage now and my ‘talker’ barely speaks to me at all except to ask for money. Ah well!

    • notsuchayummymummy permalink*
      September 4, 2009 3:52 pm

      The joys of older children! I’m quite looking forward to seeing Sam as a monosyllabic, spotty Goth. I’m sure that the few things he’ll be doing then will involve staying in bed, head banging & dabbling in dubious substances.

  8. Zoe's Mum permalink
    September 5, 2009 10:48 pm

    I’ve got a doer too 🙂 She’s likes to climb into/onto anything and bounce off walls! I can’t believe where they get their energy sometimes. She’s definately not a talker but will read books and think occasionally, but not very often.
    Doer’s are fun, but boy are they exhausting too!

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