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Guest Post 2 – My sister’s thoughts on emigrating

July 9, 2010

As I’m living it up (ahem) in Skeggy right now here is another guest post for you. I’d like to introduce you to my sister Helen! I speak about her often, more often that I actually see her as she buggered off to live in Australia last year. I miss her loads and wish she was here. Of course I’m glad she isn’t because she has such a wonderful life over there, much better than she would have had here. Let’s face it, no one actually wants to live in Oldham & given the choice between there and Perth it’s no contest.

For one day only, against all her beliefs, here is Helen/Ratface/Kiddo’s first ever blog post.

Ok, so here goes. Emma, my beloved sister has always wrote so much about me on this blog and about how she feels about me living in Australia, so now it is my turn to tell you my side if the story.

I will apologise because I am going to start at the beginning so may bore quite a few people and my spelling and grammar are shocking but hey ho, here we go…….

 Rewind to 13th February 2006, myself and my then fiancé are leaving England to go to Australia for 10 months.

This “trip” is totally 110% because Antony wanted to go to see if we liked it enough to emigrate. I was quite happy living my life back home but after a  5 year relationship I wasn’t ready to walk away from him for the sake of 10 months out of my life, after all, I have no intentions to emigrate to Australia – I’m happy at home in England.

 Fast forward to 12th January 2009, after lots of decision making, weddings and a nephew, we are stood in Manchester Airport saying see you later to our families (I refuse to say goodbye) and are getting ready to board our flight to Perth, Western Australia. Yes, we are emigrating. This time we have made the decision together 110%.

This came as a surprise to many people. No, Helen won’t move to Australia forever, she’s a home bird. Helen won’t stay in Australia she like’s being at home……phrases like this became normal and as true as they where, we was off on our new adventure in life.

 

I will always remember when I “knew” Australia was where I wanted to be.

We had just landed back into Perth Airport after travelling around Australia last time and I started to cry in arrivals. Not being uncommon for me to cry, Antony was like what’s wrong…..my reply was “Nothing, sob, I just feel like I’ve come home, sob”.

At that point we knew what we wanted but wouldn’t admit it to ourselves.

 

So, now as we go up the escalator in Manchester Airport and turn to wave to our families at the bottom, my heart breaks into 2.

We wave, shout see you soon and walk away.

God dam it, there’s 6 bloody windows…..we have to do this again at every window, each time my heart breaking that little bit more.

Finally we can’t see them any more – relief and hurt over comes me.

BAR………….Where’s the bloody BAR……….I NEED A DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So how do I feel at this point, upset, tired (it was very early) depressed, excited but above all else GUILTY.

 

Now let me explain the guilty feeling. Knowing that there are so many people upset at us moving to Australia and hardly any people happy is a huge weight to have put on our shoulders.

Don’t get me wrong, both our families are VERY supportive and extremely happy that we are making a new and hopefully better life for ourselves but they are still upset. Do you know how hard it is seeing your Dad cry and knowing that you caused that??? I do.

Knowing that I am not going to be there like normal as a daughter, granddaughter, sister, and auntie is really hard.

 

Sam my gorgeous nephew was just 6 months old when I left him so I feel as though he’s missed out on having me there as an auntie like I am to my niece Phoebe on Ant’s side. She knows me, used to come to my house for tea, got random presents and days out. Sam’s not going to get all that. I can send presents but will never get to see him play with them, that’s hard sometimes.

 

Anyway after struggling to find a house and jobs things finally settle down after 2 months.

Things are NOT easy just because you have been somewhere before. This took me a while to understand.

I felt like a failure for the first 2 months. It took 4 weeks to find a job I wanted and then 8 weeks to find a rental house we liked.

 

So with the new house and career, were set to start living our new life.

Antony joins a football team and meets lots of friends, strangely 8 from Oldham (same as us) and I meet some really nice people at work and WAG’S from football.

House – TICK             Job – TICK          Friends – TICK

 

Lives good, we enjoy the life style; LOVE the weather (Summer I mean, winter’s a bit chilly!)

We have settled really well and enjoy having our families over to visit although it is so unbelievably sad and hard when you have to say see you soon again. I do however realize that this is part and parcel of us living out here, although it doesn’t get easier.

 

The guilt does ease quite a lot although it never goes away, it does however make way for another feeling that it totally unexpected and never wanted…….envy/jealousy.

 

The main thing I feel envious of is my beloved Grandma.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I adore my Grandma and think the world of her. I’ve always been the favorite Granddaughter – I’m sure Emma won’t mind me saying this!!!

 

I rang my Grandma every week, took her shopping and went for my tea every Thursday. I always did everything for her!! I worship her; Antony always says that I miss her more than anyone else!!

So, I find it hard ever week, twice a week, when I hear what my sister has been doing with my Grandma.

Emma says every weekend, I’m taking Grandma here, there and every where.

My Grandma says every Wednesday what she’s done with Emma and Sam. She tells me for ages how good Sam is, what new words he’s learnt etc.

Bring on another feeling of envy/jealousy……….Sam

I feel very envious of the time other people get to spend with Sam and what I’m missing out on. It upsets me that I can’t see him playing the garden with his watering can or pointing to ants on the ground and shouting BEE!!!

I am however happy for other people having the opportunities to enjoy all these things now that I am here in Australia.

 

Emma was never close to my Grandma. She hardly ever rang her or took her out, now she see’s her more or less every week and it’s great.

I feel as though Emma’s finally getting to have and enjoy her Grandma.

My Grandma is also getting a Granddaughter she never had before and on top of that a Great – grandson.

My Grandma lives for Sam. He’s made her young again; he’s made her laugh and smile like she hasn’t done for years.

It’s brilliant for them and ever so upsetting for me, BUT, I am extremely happy for them all, just have little selfish feelings every now and then.

 

So no, 18 months on I’m happy 99.9% of the time. Every now and then I do feel a bit homesick but it’s rare. I wouldn’t change anything. We believe we are starting a better life for ourselves and our future family, only time will tell if it’s the right move after all, but at least we have tried.

I feel settled. Me and Antony have a better relationship; you rely on each other so much more for support here as really you only have each other.

We spend quality time together, we share the same friends, and we laugh together a lot more.

 

Were building our own house this year, at 26 years old we will have built our very own 4 bed roomed, 2 bath house with a huge back garden….we would never have been able to do that in England.

We would have been in a 2 up 2 down mid terrace house in Shaw next door to Antony’s sisters. Nothing wrong with either but it does prove that Australia has open different doors for us.

We’re willing to walk through those doors and make the most of what’s behind them.

 

What does the future hold for us????????????????????//

Hopefully lots more happiness, getting into our new house in September, and who knows, maybe a baby next year….Fingers crossed!!!!!

We have both our parents and Antony’s sister coming next year; we are already so excited and can’t wait!!!!! Bring on 2011; it will be a great year!

 

My final thoughts on Australia

 

One thing I think about Australia is that it’s not for everybody. I don’t think everyone should move here, although that would be very nice!!!

Australia has it’s problems, it’s crime etc just like England, BUT, for me and Antony it’s where we want to enjoy living our lives together, raising a family and growing old.

Something I will work hard at every day to achieve.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. ClaireyP permalink
    July 9, 2010 10:24 am

    You know it was so nice to read that (made me cry actually!) feel like I understand a little more about why a number of my friends and family have all hopped over the pond to Oz… Good Luck and Thanks!

  2. July 9, 2010 12:51 pm

    This is lovely – like every decision in life – they rarely come without a price. My hubby and I often hanker after the dream of moving to New Zealand (we campervanned across NZ in our energetic, child-free, first flings of romance days). But we are not brave enough to leave our familes – espeically now we have children. Some other day, some other dream. Really good to hear the positives – especially the life you are able to create for yourselves. Good luck – and hey – nowadays you have Skype so I’m sure Sam gets to see your face when he opens your presents!

  3. July 9, 2010 6:02 pm

    Love it! Totally sums up the right reasons why you ~ my best friend had to leave and make your new life elsewhere. We are all proud of you ~ the home girl making a better life for yourself and ant and eventually your children! I miss you like you only went yesterday but im so proud to call you my best friend. Miss you always Carly x

  4. July 9, 2010 9:10 pm

    Awww you made me laugh and cry. My best friend lives out in Oz and although she has an amazing life we miss each other terribly. She finds Oct – Dec the hardest as there’s so much going on with halloween, bonfire night etc. The cool thing about her being there is that we get cheap holidays every 18 months 😉

  5. July 12, 2010 8:10 am

    That post seemed to be completely from the heart. Living away from your family can be tough. We live in the same country as my husband’s family. However, my mom and dad live in the Middle East and my brother used to live in New York, then Singapore and now he’s in HongKong. So I can imagine what it feels like to see your family only once or twice a year.

  6. July 18, 2010 1:14 pm

    Helen. It’s Danielle.
    You write really well. Maybe you should start a blog too! I’m so glad you’re happy and you know that of all people I understand your decision to move away. Steve and I are looking to move to Argentina. Hearing you is an inspiration, I share the same feelings. It’s hard being away and I guess, like you said, you will never know unless you give it a try. You’re brave and I hope I will be too. This made me cry out of sadness and happiness. Above all it made me realise that I miss you and the precious little time we had together after I moved away. It wasn’t as hard for me to see you go as it was for others who relied on you and your friendship. I remember when you left knowing you were doing the right thing but worrying more about Nat’s feelings than mine. I hope to get to Aus one day soon but I won’t make empty promises. Let’s just hope it’s not to long before we can all have a girls night out together like when I used to come back from uni.
    Take care Helen and give my love to Ant.
    xxx

  7. March 18, 2011 6:44 pm

    Moving style. I wish I could write that way.

  8. Leila permalink
    June 9, 2011 1:40 am

    My sister is emigrating to oz in a few days! Its nearly 2am and i just cant sleep! Then i found your blog! I laughed and cried…. ALOT, absolutely dreading the day i have to say ‘see you later’!! Oh goodness here are the tears again! I’m going to miss my sister and my 2 nephews so very much, also their dog (my niece) who is already in sydney! Thank you for sharing this, i wish you lots of ‘see you laters’ so hopefully there wont be a long time between visits x

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