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October 21, 2010

I am angry. I am positively raging. With every thoughtless observation and patronising comment I can feel myself swell with burning rage. It seems to have taken on a tangible presence in my chest now, pressing down on my stomach and making me feel sick. I actually want to scream but really would it make any difference? On the outside I smile , engage in polite conversation and say ‘I’m fine’ a lot but I’m not. I will be though.

On the upside rage does help with motivation – that white hot fury needs some release I suppose and in the absence of me be able to beat someone to death with my shoe I am channelling it elsewhere. My house it tidy, the ironing done. I have scheduled a couple of long overdue blog posts, there is blackberry jam and spiced apple & ginger spread (it would have been jam but it didn’t set. I am being resourceful and rebranding it) under the stairs ready for Christmas presents. Sam’s Christmas present list is ready and now waiting to be culled (our budget is not compatible with our wish list) and I have started to buy presents for my unborn niece/nephew.

There are two things making me smile though this week. Firstly, my new car – Aurelia the Auris. Yes, after my last post on my rubbish, pile o’crap car I found a fantastic deal which will eat up much of the money we are now saving on our mortgage but I don’t care. We sold the crappy Peugeot and got this. I love her…

Also making me happy, of course, is Sam. He loves to sing, dance (especially ‘malley’ – ballet) and play hide. Here’s a quick video of his latest song. Apologies for my over eager commentary and that I didn’t stop the video before Craig shoved a chicken nugget in his mouth. Can anyone not smile after this?

3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 24, 2010 8:53 pm

    Hope you’re feeling better Emma. My house looks alot cleaner when I’m feeling like that too. One of the positives I suppose!

    • notsuchayummymummy permalink*
      October 25, 2010 12:49 pm

      Thank you Rosie – anger definitely has it’s positives!

  2. October 25, 2010 2:14 pm

    That’s how I usually channel my rage too!

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